A Dog's letters to God !

[PC ANTAGONIST]

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? :hap5:


Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story?


Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, and the stingray, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the ' Chrysler Beagle'?


Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? :S:


Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? :snob:


Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. :


Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?


Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog. :

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. :

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. :ashamed:

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. hyeah:

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.:

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. :rofl:

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. :ashamed: :rofl:

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table . :dumb:

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. :

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.:ashamed:

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing .