A Vent About Flying

[b8ee1]

Oh, where to start...I was supposed to leave San Juan Monday at 9am, but apparently there was a little snow here in Boston on Sunday. Other airlines cancelled hundreds of flights preemptively (should that be hyphenated? I can't decide), but Jet Blue didn't, and my son and I spent Sunday afternoon and evening trying in vain to get through to them by phone.

Online was still showing our SJU/JFK flight as on time, although they did cancel my JFK/BOS leg. Called the petsitter, the airport shuttle, my sister who worries too much (it's genetic, we can't help it), and tried at least a bajillion times to get through to Jet Blue. Unsuccessfully, and I will be understated and say I was seriously aggravated about it. This was a predicted storm...if you're not going to let me reroute myself online, adjust your phone staff accordingly so you don't piss off people who, until that moment, had been quite pleased with your airline and planning on flying it more often.

At 3am my cell phone rang, Jet Blue saying my flight was canceled. I had a brief moment of elation when the recording said "to speak to a representative, press 0" Halleluiah sweet mother of Jesus, I'm gonna get to talk to someone!!! arty: I pressed 0 and was promptly disconnected. This did not please me.

I called the front desk and kept the room for another night. Kid decided my call must have been about my BOS leg, as he didn't get a call. Yeah, ok kid, you go ahead and plan on flying into JFK during a blizzard. An hour later his phone rang, of course it was Jet Blue. Suddenly this all became an issue to him because he had to work today, and apparently until that moment the silly boy had really believed he was going to get home on time. LOLOL kids, eh?

At 6am he actually got through to being on Hold with Jet Blue, which was a big step up from the day before. I had been thinking of jumping in a cab and going to the airport to rebook, but he was on hold, so I didn't. When he was still on hold 2 1/2 hours later I thought, this would be done if I'd just gone to the airport...so I got in a cab, and of course about 2 miles before we got there I got a text from the kid, he was talking to Jet Blue. Simultaneous Yippy!!!! and Sigh, I have to pay this cab $40 for nothing.

By the time I got back to the hotel, kid had cancelled with Jet Blue and found himself flights yesterday on Airtran, and flights for me today. I can't say I was unhappy at the prospect of the night to myself, and I didn't wait until he was in the cab to start the celebratory banana daquiris. But then he left...I should explain I am very bad at Goodbyes. They sadden me deeply, and never more than when it's my son I'm saying goodbye to. So I thought some more daquiris would cheer me up, and for awhile it worked quite well. But I made the mistake of having One Too Many, and then I could feel the beginning of the terrible metamorphasis...from Drunk Horny Girl to Drunk Crying Girl. We all love her, don't we? :roll:

So I decided it best to confine myself to the room for the rest of the night, thinking at least I'd get to sleep early. Silly me, I was awake until 3. My flight wasn't until 5pm so I thought at least I'd get some sun time, but it was raining when I got up at 6. Not feeling very well at all, to be honest.

I'm completely rambling and I'm sorry to anyone who is still reading this. Not sorry enough to stop typing, but sorry.

Ok...got to the airport in plenty of time, found my gate, wandered around, sat at the gate with some trashy movie magazines and my ipod cranked. Which was probably how I missed the announcement about the gate change, but for once my compulsive need to double check things actually proved useful and I did manage to actually get on the plane.

I was in the row in front of the emergency exit, which totally SUCKS because the seats don't recline. This is an issue for me because I have OldLadyBackItis, and it was about halfway into a four-hour flight that it started to hurt enough to make me consider a muscle relaxer...but I had already taken a xanax and didn't want to fall asleep. I used to like to sleep on planes, but about five years ago I did that and woke myself up doing that sleep-snort thing, and the guy across the aisle almost peed himself laughing. So now I try not to fall asleep on a plane.

In addition to the Recline issue, I was also having Legroom problems. The thing I loved about JetBlue was the Extra Legroom seats...I'm tall, and in a standard coach seat if the person in front of me reclines their seat, it hits my knees. I was fortunate that the gentleman in front of me only put his back a little. And, I try to be considerate of the person behind me when deciding how far to recline my own seat...when I'm fortunate enough to be able to.

Oh hey, that reminds me...his wife was sitting across the aisle from him, and wow she must be Queen of Something. First, she had a carryon bag that was clearly too big to fit under the seat, but she didn't want to put it in the overhead. She had it jammed between her knees and the seat in front of her, and when the flight attendant told her it had to be under the seat she started arguing with him about it. Apparently the concept of the bag becoming a lethal projectile in the event of an incident was just too much for her to grasp. Finally it went into the overhead, but she wasn't done being too special to have to play by the rules.

She and her friend stood in the aisle chatting even after the second announcement about not congregating in the aisle or near the cockpit. At one point, after the snack service was done, the flight attendant was up by the cockpit and she literally snapped her fingers at him, like he was a servant. When he didn't respond promptly enough, she stormed up the aisle to demand a glass of ice. When she was done with it, she handed it to him as he was passing to do something else, because apparently Royalty can't wait for the trash bag to come by.

Did I mention the adorable 18month old who was sitting on her mom's lap next to me? Adorable when she was asleep, I mean. I am always of two minds when I see small children in the boarding area...I'm a mom, I know how hard it is to travel with little ones, and I am sympathetic to the parents. On the other hand, I always say a little prayer that they're not sitting near me.

If I knew how to start a poll, I'd do it right now: How much extra would you pay per leg to be on a Child-free flight? I thought about this a lot today, because both flights were full of cranky kids. I was thinking $10 when the day started, but by the time the Diaper Incident happened (I'll get to it, don't worry) I thought $500 was perfectly reasonable.

Ok....so finally, land at BWI. Sheer relief at being out of that unreclined seat, and I was really glad I was in row 7 for the second flight. At least that's what I thought, until I double-checked my boarding pass and realized I was in the exact same row, in front of the exit row. And even better, now instead of the aisle, I'm flying bitch. sigh sigh sigh. I got to the row and it was empty, so I dutifully took my seat and hoped fervently for my seatmates to be grownups. I was delighted to realize they were not only grownups, they were a couple...so, being the kind person that I am, I asked if they would prefer to sit next to each other? Why yes, yes they would, so I was happy to at least have the aisle seat back.

Before I tell the next part I should explain that by this time it was 9:30pm, and I was really tired, my back really hurt, I'd been wearing panties for over eight hours, and I was really cranky. So when the bitch in front me of me slammed her seat back into my knees, that pissed me off. A lot. So I figured if my knees were going to hurt anyway, there was no reason for her to have a comfortable flight.

I lowered and closed my tray a couple times (ok, I might have slammed it), and she responded by leaning back harder. Realizing she could feel it every time I shifted my knees, I crossed and uncrossed my legs, then it occurred to me it was better to just tap my foot to the beat of the ipod. Constantly. It was childish, I know...but what a moment of pure triumph when the bitch moved her seat up.

One row up, across the aisle, was a young couple with a 2yo boy. They were obviously tense and frazzled when we boarded, and after about two minutes I could see why...the kid was a screamer. He did stop when they gave up and let him stand up and jump on the seat, which didn't seem like a good idea to me but hey, I had no say in the matter. Doesn't anyone use Benadryl anymore?

Then the dad took a diaper and the kid and went to the front lavatory...I'm not sure exactly what happened in there, but it wasn't 30 seconds after he closed the door that it opened again and I saw him gesturing frantically to the flight attendant for paper towels. I'm sure he was speaking as well, but I had the ipod on so can only give you the visual report.

He disappeared back into the bathroom and the flight attendant came rushing down the aisle, spoke to the mom, and she jumped out of her seat and went into the bathroom as well. Eventually she emerged with the kid, but the husband must've been ten minutes cleaning the bathroom. Which I give him credit for, some people would've left it for the crew. But I was a little dismayed to see him returning to his seat carrying a plastic baggy...with the poopy diaper in it. The poopy STINKY diaper...I can now verify that even with two plastic bags around it, a poopy diaper will stink up an entire airplane. :shock:

Fortunately I was distracted from the smell by keeping a good beat with my foot, and it was only an hour flight. And thank God for the ipod! :great:

 

[Anabelle]

^^^^ which is why I feel that if I never have to fly again, that'd be alright by me.

Air travel went downhill the minute they reduced the cost of flights so just about anyone can fly....

You think poopy diapers smell up a plane bad? How about kiddie puke....especailly when it's on the wall, the floor, the seat, mom, the kid, and the flight attendant.

The whole problem is that people that used to only travel by bus, now can afford to travel by plane and therein lies the rub.....I was once in line behind someone who couldn't understand why they wouldn't let him put a kitchen table and 4 chairs in with checked baggage......

 

[school]

I think I'll wait until AFTER my trip to Dallas to read that post! LOL :shock:

 

[adam g]

A helluva story. Glad you didn't stop typing. Kept me reading right to the end.

You get my sympathy on every count, girl. Hate the seats with no legroom, hate the ones that don't tilt back to let you relax, hate the ones that let the person in front relax right into your knees, hate obnoxious passengers and hate ill-mannered kids anywhere.

Only part I haven't experienced is that business about wearing panties for over eight hours and getting really cranky.

Maybe you should have taken your panties off part way through the first flight to reduce stress. Could have used them to strangle that first brat.

 

[melmelfish]

Were you reimbursed at any point by the airline.

 

[ALL OR NOTHING]

Quite an experience! I'm glad that you made it home safely.

BTW: Xanax is a muscle relaxant. All medications in the benzodiazepin family have muscle
relaxing properties, the duration of which depends on the medication's half life (rate of metabolism).

 

[Wicked]

(don't quote me on this) but I believe the airlines have a clause that exempts them from any damages due to weather. If they don't, they're brain dead.

I missed the part about the panties for 8 hrs. Why not just go into the damn bathroom and take them off? lol....least ONE part would be taken care of.....or is that too simple?

Also: the non-reclining seats. Is that something new? I've been on hundreds (if not thousands) of flights and have yet to encounter that....

 

[Kent]

Thanks for the advice... I remember that for Friday! (For Mrs. CG of course... )



Maybe you missed the part where she said she was sitting in the first row ahead of the Emergency exits... those seats (to my knowledge) don't recline. I have gotten stuck in them before, and I agree they completely suck!

 

[Aaron]

Thousands of flights, really. Even just hundreds would be a lot of flying to not know about the seats in front of the exit rows.

Jet Blue is refunding my ticket cost. I will google the fine print of the Passengers Bill of Rights, which is what will determine if I can be compensated for the hotel expense.

I'll explain about the panties...normally I'm a big fan of going commando. I'm also a big fan of hygiene. I packed for a 5-night trip with just a carry-on...the only jeans I had were the ones I wore down there, also wearing panties so I could wear the same jeans home without grossing myself out.

One thing I understand about air travel is this...you can't be sure a flight is taking off until it's actually in the air. Given the travel situation that day, I had to consider the possibility I could get stranded in Baltimore. If that happened, I wanted to not have worn the jeans commando yet, as I would be wearing them home that way the next day because I was also out of clean panties.

So by the time I was sure I could lose the panties, I was on my final flight which was only an hour long...now Tboy I'm not sure what kind of planes you flew on, but have you ever actually changed your clothes in a standard airplane bathroom? and if so, could you please explain the simplicity to me? Because to me it didn't seem worth the trouble at that point...I'm pretty slim, but those bathrooms are very small. Where would I put the jeans while I took off the panties, without risking cooties all over them? Yuck, I'd rather wear the panties for an hour.



I've had three hours of sleep in the last 35, so perhaps I'm overtired and not understanding your point correctly. If you are saying that the advent of lower fares enabled more people to fly and therefore the increase in number of passengers created an inevitable increase in the number of morons flying, then I might agree with you. It's simple percentages.

But if you are saying that having a limited income automatically means a person is less likely to have common sense and/or common courtesy, I disagree rather vehemently. I've flown/traveled first-class enough to have seen rude/obnoxious/classless behavior from people who should have spent some of their money on Manners lessons. Civility and common courtesy are not limited to those with fat wallets...some of the most low-class, stupid, ignorant people I've ever met have been wealthy. You can't buy real class, only the illusion of it.

I should say something else about the Diaper Incident...as I said, I didn't really understand why the dad brought the diaper back, but he was clearly a young man trying to handle a very difficult situation as best as he could. It was obvious even without being able to hear him that he was seriously stressed...after he sat back down, I wanted to tell him that ten years from now he'll laugh his ass off telling the story. My son once had a really bad, really public diaper blowout that wasn't funny at all when it happened, but I'm LOLing right now just thinking about it. The funniest stories are never about when things went right. :tongue:



Sweetie you know I say this with the most sincere affection....Fuck you, asshole!! ::

 

[Uttam]

1) Yes, hundreds if not thousands. Considering I travelled for 2 yrs straight (home for maybe a month month and a half total in those two years). There were times when I took 5 and 6 flights a day.
2) Yes, hundreds if not thousands, considering i was in the trade show biz for almost 12 yrs.
3) Yes, I meant that some people who wouldn't normally be able to fly, now can fly. It has something (but not everything) to do with disposable income. Business people generally have a better understanding of what to do on a plane and bringing babies isn't one of them. Same as luggage that won't fit into the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of them.
4) Yes, there are boobs in every class and every income bracket but I highly doubt that anyone in the upper income bracket ever held up a line arguing about taking a kitchen table and chairs on a plane.

I guess I just got lucky and never encountered seats that didn't recline...hooray for me! I mean, even flying on bearskin airlines into kenora the seats reclined.....(and they had to stop halfway to rewind the rubber bands!!).

 

[MnM]

Amusing story SG, enjoyed the read! An airline review of sorts.:

 

[Jenna]

9/10 :happy:

I am addicted to the ratings of threads.

 

[Goodbye Stranger.]

: That was a fun read SG! Probably not fun for you at the time but very entertaining for a bored dude on a Saturday night.

 

[jplatt39]

OK... having read this, I have to tell you, my experience of flying to and from Dallas this past weekend could not have been more opposite!

We left home for the Buffalo airport at 8:00 am on Friday, made it to the Niagara Falls border by 9:05, and didn't have to wait for a single car... drove right up to the Customs officer and was through in literally 30 seconds (I have this procedure down to a fine science...), and since we had a few extra minutes, decided to stop at Dicks Sports to try and replace the LiveSTRONG jacket that was ruined when I almost got "MichaelBryanted" by a transport truck while out for a bike ride on Nov. 10th. They were sold out, so we headed for the airport- parked in the closest long term parking lot and walked to the terminal with Mrs. CG. We arrived at the check-in to drop off our suitcase (I pre-checked in via Webcheck before we left, so I already had our boarding passes...) Airport security was a breeze, and we were at the gate 30 minutes ahead of boarding time. So we grabbed a coffee and flirted with a very attractive young lady that had a 4 month old son. As it turns out the young woman sat directly across from us. I started to envision "baby problems" as per SG's experience, but this was the most well behaved baby on the planet! (Or maybe he just really liked Mrs. CG, cuz he was smiling and making eyes and cooing to her the whole 2 hr flite! LOL)

We got to Charlotte NC, 15 minutes early... Had a quick bite to eat at a seafood restaurant there and headed to our gate for the Dallas flight... It took off exactly on time and ended up landing at DWF about 15 minutes early. Our suitcase was scheduled to come out on the closest carousel to the exit, and Mrs. CG wanted a smoke, so we went outside to wait. While we were waiting Mr. & Mrs. Dallas showed up, PERFECT TIMING! I went back in to check on our suitcase and it showed up in a matter of minutes. We left the terminal at exactly the same time as we were supposed to land.

Our trip home was pretty much the same thing... (although... we were all secretly praying for mass cancellations due to a freak snow storm in Chicago...) That unfortunately didn't happen and the only issue was at airport security where we had this oriental girl that was traveling with all her worldly possessions (or so it seemed) in 2 carry-on bags and the biggest purse imaginable just in front of us. We ended up getting the emergency exit row on our Chicago flight which gave us tons of leg room and a spare seat beside us... Mrs. CG took advantage of this by placing her coat over our laps and proceeded to grope me the entire flight! :shock: This, coupled with our discussion of our experiences with Mr. & Mrs. Dallas caused a rather "excited" reaction in my jeans! LOL

We landed at O'Hare a few minutes early, and had about 1 1/2 hrs stop over for our connecting flight back to Buffalo, so we had a leisurely bite to eat and a couple cocktails... The flight boarded on time with little incident... and somehow we managed to taxi right to the head of the line- we were in the air early, and caught a great tail wind, and ended up landing a full 48 minutes early. Mrs. CG then suggested she wait for the suitcase while I go get the truck (shaddup tboy), which I thought was a great idea. I headed off to find my truck and was back at the terminal doors just as Mrs. CG was coming out. PERFECT TIMING AGAIN! :shock:

There was no one at the border when we showed up there- stopped for some duty free and got a sly grin from the female border guard when I mentioned we had $300 worth of "specialty items" from Victoria's Secret to declare! LOL

I was hoping to arrive back home before midnight... and ended up driving up the driveway at 10:50! It couldn't have gone off more perfect!

Having said all this... I would have GLADLY welcomed a canceled flight and a 2-3 day delay in leaving Dallas! **sigh** uch: