Funny massage story

grey_ufo

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I was getting a massage at New Fantasia with a girl who I'd rate at about a 4. The massage sucked and then the sexo began. I got tired at looking at her friggin' face, so we proceeded doggie style. Then suddenly I started to smell a strong rotten chicken odor. I thought... Oh my god... I'm gonna die. Her punta is totally rotten. So, understanding I had a condom on and that there was no chance I could catch whatever the phuck was living inside her punta, I closed my eyes and covered my nose. Finished the job. But, she gave me some evil, disgusted look afterwords.

I got into the shower. She wouldn't come with me. I let out a baby fart. To my disbelief... more rotten chicken odor.

LOL... it was me the whole time. I guess I needed an anema. LOL...

These poor chicas put up with a lot of shit. What a sucky job for them?

I told the tico taxi driver afterwards what had happened. He almost drove off the road he was laughing so hard.
 
Funny massage story

Chi_trekker said:
I was getting a massage at New Fantasia with a girl who I'd rate at about a 4...

This might be an obvious question but, why the hell were you doing a 4? Was every other chica in SJ busy? :lol:
 


She was the only girl there. Okay... maybe she was a 6. Yeah, I could have walked somewhere else, but I was lazy... and still ended up with a funny story.
 
Funny massage story

Chi_trekker said:
....I let out a baby fart. To my disbelief... more rotten chicken odor. LOL... it was me the whole time. I guess I needed an anema. LOL...
Chi-, That was ph*cking PRICELESS!!! ROTFLMAO !!!

CHEERS !!!!
 


Chi_trekker said:
She was the only girl there. Okay... maybe she was a 6. Yeah, I could have walked somewhere else, but I was lazy... and still ended up with a funny story.

There were 8 or 9 there when I visited. Was this at 9am?
 


Great story....Best laugh I have had in a while. Now, what the hell are you doing putting rotten chickens up your pooper ? Just teasing, great story...Thanks for being willing to tell on yourself; the sigh of a mature man...

Psychman
 


Why don't you try Zona Blue. I was just there and there were over a dozen gorgeous women wondering if I would like to join them in their room. Stephanie and one of her girl friends (the blond wild woman) even gave me a private dance. I got a little bump and grind and then she stripped down to her lingerie and threw her skirt in my face. It was actually the funniest thing that I had seen in a long time. It's always a pleasure visiting there.
 
NOT SO FUNNY TO ME?

I am still trying to find the joke I am wondering WHY would anyone want to post something so damn disgusting and feel proud of it!! WHY don't you WASH your ass (take a shower) and brush your teeth and clean yourself up before you see the girls.

This is why so many think Americans gringo's a PIGS and nasty because of action of a few, I feel sorry for some of these girls that work at the MASSAGE PARLORS, also this is another reason why so many leave those houses and then go working solo and this way they get to PICK WHO THEY SLEEP WITH no matter how much you offer some of these girls if they smell a pig and a nasty gringo they won't give you the time or day or they will tell you $400.00 just to get you out of their face and then when they see a clean guy that knows how to take care of themshevles they would charge that guy as low as $40.00-$60.00 a hour or $100.00 for all night.

This is what many have told me about WHY they leave those massage houses to many OBESE SLOOPY PIGS comes in their looking for a girlfriend and their teeth isn't even brush or their ass haven't been wash and the guy DON't even wants to take a shower when he is offer.

It want be long before the prices goes up at some of these massage places just to bring in TOP girls because the stuff they have to go threw I feel for them, well they don't have to go threw it they will just QUITE and then guys will be posting how a star have move on wonder why??

And you guys are high five this guy and thinks its so funny ??? it made me sick I am sure the girls was sick as well


WASH YOUR BUTT NEXT TIME OR TAKE A SHIT AND WASH YOUR BUTT NEXT TIME
 
Whoa! Kidcisco!

Look man... you've got no basis for the above rant.

Notice that he farted while in the shower. You're just presuming that the guy wasn't clean, probably a false presumption.

As far as chicas moving out of the MP's...my understanding is that most girls move on to find better employment (i.e. the gals that moved from Oasis to ZB), and not because their customers are lax in their hygiene habits.

I've got a legendary nose, and being blind I pay more attention to odors than most. I have only encountered one guy who smelled bad, and he wasn't a CRT member, in Zona Blue. I do agree that some guys need to take a breath mint once in awhile, but shitty or body-sweat odors...rare.

Finally, one occasionally gets bad gas when traveling. Switching from Wheaties to gallo pinto for breakfast will certainly give you gas. :mrgreen:

I thought the story was funny. I thought your post, KidCrisco was poorly written, and lacked good forethought. Also, I must ask; is English your third or fourth language? :P
 


KidCisco it is no wonder why you are banned from every board you join! Take a hike!
 


I am still trying to find the joke I am wondering WHY would anyone want to post something so damn disgusting and feel proud of it!!

Is this the same KC that posted that gem over on the Brazil board? That was a masterpiece. Talk about a disgusting post. Chi has nothing on you my friend. I, a seasoned monger of 20+ years, was embarrased to read your post.

BTW Chi..what were you doing with a chicken up the Hershey Highway??
:-)

dapanz1
 


K*D...

Your post demonstrates no sense of humor and no class. When someone is vulnerable enough to pick on themselves, and you attack, what does this say about you? Take a long look, but I sense you won't. Also, perhaps hooked on phonics might be of some help. Charm school? Highschool?

It is a funny story. Travel long enough in Latin America, and some digestive problems will sneak up on you. I am sure that is the case here. I hope yours occur during the heat of passion.

You are clearly a loser (sorry for the blantant flame Admin, but I will take my chances).

Psychman
 


I also was takenback by the chicken ass smell...That is more information than i need! Disgusting to think what some of these massage girls put up with....You should have paid her twice the amount for putting up with you.
 


Well, I personally find it funny.

If you look back, Chi never said anything about making negative comments to her. He continued on with the session for the most part as if nothing was going on.

Hows he the bad guy? He had gas, big deal.

If it was the case that he stopped midway through the session, started complaining about the girls smell and dismissed her, then yeah I would say that was a bit harsh. He didnt though!

In the end he laughed about it, I would have done the same.
 
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    All season wellness center :Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Midi ,New Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Baby ,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Yoyo ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella ,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry , address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2โ˜Ž๏ธ4376655510 ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
  43. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: New Young girl Big-breasted big Big boobs big butts May, Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Vita ,Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Bobo, Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage maggie,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. 2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 .โ˜Ž๏ธ4379857899 ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ
  44. HollywoodSpa:
    Monday at ๐ŸŽญ๐—›๐—ข๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ๐—ฌ๐—ช๐—ข๐—ข๐—— ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”๐ŸŽญ, 4578 Yonge St, Unit 100, North York, ON: MIMI & TRACY. โ˜Ž๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ-๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฐโ˜Ž MIMI is a slim Chinese spinner hottie with a great ass, great body slide & liberal services. TRACY is a slim, taller & pretty lady, very friendly with an extensive menu. When you visit ๐ŸŽญHollywood Spa๐ŸŽญ, you will be treated with tender care
  45. ForeverWarden:
    Monday at ๐Ÿซฆโค๏ธ๐Ÿ”ดโ™พ๏ธ๐“•๐“ž๐“ก๐“”๐“ฅ๐“”๐“ก ๐“ข๐“Ÿ๐“โ™พ๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐Ÿ”ดโค๏ธ๐Ÿซฆ 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฌ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด๐Ÿณ: Bella, Cindy & New Girl Mimi. Bella is around 5โ€™3โ€ with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5โ€™4โ€, natural C Cups. Her massage is nice, her services will drive you wild & her finish is a dream
  46. HolidaySpa:
    Monday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธ: AMY & CINDY. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Donโ€™t miss out on her special skills! CINDY is a slim & incredibly sexy lady with a smile that will melt your heart, & an ass that will fire up your spirit.
  47. SugarLoveSpa:
    Monday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œโŽ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”โŽ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: ANA, KELLY & MIA. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž ANA is a young, short and sweet lady, 5โ€™1 & 105 Lbs, very tight, with a small to medium booty. Ana is a versatile honey who provides great massage, & can accommodate your needs. KELLY is a young Singaporean lady, slim with C Cups & liberal skills. MIA
  48. Soul Relax Spa:
    โœจ Looking for a relaxing escape? โœ… Click Here Meet๐ŸŒธLily๐ŸŒธCarly๐ŸŒธVivianCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now โ˜Ž 289 - 298 - 5662โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! โœจ
  49. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 young girls are working today.Young pretty Lily 25โ€™s with curve body and young sweet Michelle 25โ€™s with curve body open mind and cute GFE Ella and young student Taiwanese Victoria 25โ€™s slime open mind are providing deep tissue and sensual massage,pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available. 350 Wilson Ave North York
  50. Red Rose Spa:
    ๐ŸŒธ We have 13 hot brown girls today ๐ŸŒธMONICA, PAOLA, SASHA, ASHA, MONIKA, AMANDA, PREETI, ANGELINA, SONIA, NISHA, ANGEL ๐ŸŒธ 2588 Birchmount ๐ŸŒธ 2 Invergordon ๐ŸŒธ 647-702-8800 ๐ŸŒธ Please visit for a great erotic massage
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