Stories that teach you about life,

[Todd]

do you have any similar stories you want to share with the massageplanetites members.

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"
He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"
The voice answers: "I admire you!"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"
He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"
The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."
Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"
The voice answers: "You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains:

"People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.
It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.
If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.
This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;
Life will give you back everything you have given to it."
YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!"

 

[justme]

NO

 

[Masta Pimp]

- Be teachable! Nobody knows everything. Be willing to learn new ways to do things, close your ego and open your mind to new ideas.

-Be humble, if you have to tell people how great you are, you're not great. People know when you do great things; you don't have to tell them.

​

 

[monie]

OK, here is one. Read Dale Carnegie's books starting with
How To Win Friends And Influence People

You can thank me later.

 

[IslandArtiste]

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly and stopped dead in his tracks. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but.... I've always wanted to."



There are three lessons for us all here:

Don't waste ammunition.
Alcohol makes you stupid.
Don't fuck with old people.

 

[BOsKO]

Pulp Fiction.

lol.

 

[Bonzo The Wonder Pig]

::: Good one.

 

[jrsmallz88]

The Fox and the Leopard argued about who was the more beautiful of the two. The Leopard showed off the beautiful spots that decorated his coat. But the Fox, interrupting him, said: "No, I'm the more beautiful, because my beauty is of the mind."

 

[Trina]

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."


Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,

"How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."


"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your asshole before prison...."

 

[Trina]

:::: In the wrong thread but funny.

 

[Elliot]

This is an oldie but a goodie:

A young bull and an old bull were standing on a rise overlooking the herd of cows in the valley below.

The young bull says to the old: let's run down there and fuck one o' them cows.

The old bull says: How about we walk down there and fuck em all!!!

 

[muhammad q]

this is one about oppurtunity:

An old priest is sitting in his small church in New Orleans one evening and a police car pulls into the yard. The priest goes out and the deputy says: there's a hurricane coming, I'm here to take you to safety.

The priest says: that's all right my son, I've been a devoted servant of god for my entire life, he will take care of me.

The cop can't persuade the priest to leave so he drives away.

Well the storm hits and the water is rising. It's up over the porch of the church now.

A boat with two deputies comes by and they say, Father, we're here to take you to dry land

The priest says: that's all right my sons, I've been a devoted servant of god for my entire life, he will take care of me.

So the water continues to rise and the priest has to climb onto the church roof to get out of the raging flood waters.

A helicopter comes by, they lower a deputy in a sling. The deputy calls out: I'm here to take you to dry land......you must come with me.....

The priest says: that's all right my son, I've been a devoted servant of god for my entire life, he will take care of me.

well the flood waters rise higher still, sweep the priest from the roof and he drowns.

So the priest goes to heaven and asks for an audience with god.

So he's in front of god and he says: My lord, I've been a devoted servant my entire life. I did you work for over 50 yrs, fed the poor, nursed the sick, how could you let this happen to me? Why didn't you take care of me?

God answers: Well, I sent a patrol car, a boat and a helicopter, what the fuck else did you want?

 

[Pompal 09.]

I remember forest whitaker telling this tale to stephen rae in my ATF flick 'the crying game' :tongue: