Valeria 651-3750 from Montreal Mirror

trigga1uk

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Gents,

Took one for the team the other day. Saw an ad in the Mirror "Valeria, sensual massage by female. 514-651-3750 Downtown." Called her up. She said she was 20, Spanish, 5'2", 125 pounds, D-cups and located on St Marc. Massage "with finish" would set me back $50.

Made an appointment and set off for a new adventure. One of those "call me from the corner when you get there" type of deals before she gives you her apartment code.

Up I go. Greeted by a young woman, early 20s, kinda plain looking and about 25 pounds over weight. Not a full-grown porker, but definitely hasn't met too many meals she doesn't like. She's wearing lingerie and it's clear that the D in D-cup stands for "droopy"

Whatever. I'm not one of those unfortunates who can only get a rod for visions of absolute perfection. Used to be, not any more -- things seem to change the further I drift from personal perfection myself. Now I just need one good body part. Let's just say her gut wasn't as large as mine. Not quite.

Bachelor apartment. I'm ushered onto the bed and off we go. She sits down beside me. OK rub. Strong but untrained hands. Answers phone once. Kneels down between my legs and works on the back. Best part of tease is that her long chain dangles down the ol' arse crack and tickles the Black Hole. I'm tempted to clench the butt cheeks and rope her in for good. ;)

On the flip she asks me if I want her clothes off. Sure. Let's see 'em unleashed. Boinggggg -- a couple of skin slinkies. Luckily, her belly acts as kind of a shelf on which they perch. Whatever, who am I to look a gift cow in the mouth?

She asks me if I like slow or fast and I tell her to mix it up a bit. Decent pole work on the technical side, but all the while her forgettable plain jane (or juanita, in her case) face is marked by the unmistakable look of utter indifference. Boredom. Even chomped on a bit of cud...errr, gum while she was polishing the ol' bayonet.

No problem. I'm still having fun. Why? Simple: a woman is touching my knob. I don't need much to get my attention; shiny beads, a dozen beer and a woman on the stick. A bit caveman like that.

So I start pawing her up a bit. Start with the poop cutters. She's kneeling beside me, so the arse is right there. Large, but there. That's always good. Move for the jugs and she flinches. "Don't play with my nipples," I am ordered. Great. I don't mind the roly-poly ones, but I hate restrictions.

Because she looks so bored, I decide to hold out as long as I can. I'm smiling and directing traffic up and down the Tube Steak Highway so that I don't shoot my bolt too soon. Eventually, she starts ignoring my stage directions and starts freelancing for the Big Finish. I'm almost laughing -- trying to concentrate on baseball statistics, in order to stem the white tide.

During this time I ask her if there are other options. $40 additional for a BJ and $80 (I think) for FS. That's on top of the $50 cover charge. My, my, I think to myself, this one thinks pretty highly of her services. I politely decline.

Finally (I think I we were into overtime), she gives a couple of nice twists on the upstroke and I can contain myself no longer. I put her out of her misery and deposit a healthy dollop of baby batter onto her forearm.

Ah, ain't love grand?

McVie
 
ho yeah McVie

i like your prose :)

freakin' funny

thx for taking 1 for the team!
 
This has to be one of the funniest reviews I have read here in a long time. I think you really convinced me that skinney women are where it's at. Unlike you I find the further I get from perfection, the more I demand.....hell it's my coin after all. Thanks for a great post.
 
... you guys are making me blush.

Glad I could put a smile on your mugs, boys.

McVie
 
It's really difficult to type this when I'm laughing so hard. That was great! Many thanks.
 
Too funny...Laughing my ass off...ppl at the office are looking at me like some weirdo....So quick question, how long did you last?
 
Proud to say I went the full 60 minutes -- maybe a couple of extra minutes even. When I opened the door to leave, however, there was a gathering of villagers with rope looking to tow her back out to sea.
 
60 Minutes, you're a true trooper....You know what you should've done is give her a purple nipple when she said don't touch my nipples.
 
"Best part of tease is that her long chain dangles down the ol' arse crack and tickles the Black Hole. I'm tempted to clench the butt cheeks and rope her in for good".


Still has me smiling, lol
 
Shoutbox
  1. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Friday April 4, 2025, our attendants will be Ada ๐Ÿ’œ, Opal ๐Ÿ˜˜, Cici ๐Ÿค—, Vicky ๐Ÿฅฐ and Christina ๐Ÿคฉ. Call us at (905) 479-6668 to book!
  2. SL East Spa:
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  9. wonderspa:
    ๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒบWonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800โ˜Ž๏ธbest massage in vaughan,๐Ÿ’„sexy very young girl Sunny natural c cup,very good looking nice body slide๐Ÿ˜ป ๐ŸŽlong hair Lucy come back,very good strong to relax oil massage, Relieve pain and remove stress,more experience.๐Ÿ˜new very beautiful long hair lily,slimy body,amazing touch, back walk,hot stone,popular friendly girl,must try๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ
  10. SugarLoveSpa:
    Sugar Love Spa ๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ‘™today have ๐Ÿ’‹Mia, ๐Ÿ’‹Sara, ๐Ÿ’‹Tiffany, ๐Ÿ’‹Luna, ๐Ÿ’‹Hana come baby all young sexy girls available๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿ‘™๐Ÿ‘™437-365-2688๐Ÿ‘™
  11. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 masseuse are working today. Tina,Ella,Coco and Victoria are providing deep tissue massage, pls call 4163985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available. 350 Wilson Ave North York
  12. Lily Spa:
    โค๏ธ SANA, ELENA and SUSU are here today for your massage needs โค๏ธ Lily Spa โค๏ธ 2190 McNicoll โค๏ธ Scarborough โค๏ธ M1V 5M2 โค๏ธ (647) 531-8288 โค๏ธ
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    All season wellness center : young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Helen,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament summer ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella , Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry ,address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2โ˜Ž๏ธ4376655510 ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
  17. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Vivian , pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Yuki ,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Anjoo ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. 2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 .โ˜Ž๏ธ4379857899๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„
  18. SugarLoveSpa:
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    โœจClick on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! โœ… Click Here Today๐ŸŒธCassy๐ŸŒธTina๐ŸŒธIsabella๐ŸŒธTania๐ŸŒธBella Call us โ˜Ž 905 - 265 - 2158โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate service awaits! โœจ
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    โœจ Looking for a relaxing escape? โœ… Click Here Meet๐ŸŒธLuna๐ŸŒธValentina๐ŸŒธKellyCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now โ˜Ž 289 - 298 - 5662โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! โœจ
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  23. Lulu1980:
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  25. wonderspa:
    ๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒบWonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800โ˜Ž๏ธbest massage in vaughan,๐Ÿ’„sexy very young girl Sunny natural c cup,very good looking nice body slide๐Ÿ˜ป ๐ŸŽlong hair Lucy come back,very good strong to relax oil massage, Relieve pain and remove stress,more experience.๐Ÿ˜new very beautiful long hair lily,slimy body,amazing touch, back walk,hot stone,popular friendly girl,must try๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
  26. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Thursday April 3, 2025, our attendants will be Ada ๐Ÿคฉ, Cici ๐Ÿ˜, Vicky ๐Ÿ˜˜, Sophie โ˜€ and Monica ๐Ÿ˜˜. Call us at (905) 479-6668 to book!
  27. yoko:
    sister spa
  28. Soul Relax Spa:
    โœจ Looking for a relaxing escape? โœ… Click Here Meet๐ŸŒธTina๐ŸŒธMya๐ŸŒธMonikaCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now โ˜Ž 289 - 298 - 5662โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! โœจ
  29. Golden Flower Spa:
  30. BlueXado Therapy & Spa:
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  32. Joseph123456:
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  33. Alibi Massage and Spa:
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  34. EMSpa_schedule:
    For Wednesday April 2, 2025, our attendants are Sandy ๐Ÿ˜˜, Opal ๐Ÿฅฐ, Cici ๐Ÿ˜, Yoyo ๐Ÿ”ฅ and Carla โฃ. Call us at (905) 479-6668 to book your favourite and head on over to 7665 Kennedy Road, Unit 4, Markham, ON, Canada!
  35. Red Rose Spa:
    ๐ŸŒธ We have 5 hot brown girls today ๐ŸŒธ PAOLA, AMMU, MONIKA, ANGELINA, NISHA, KIRAN, DIYA, ANGEL ๐ŸŒธ 2588 Birchmount ๐ŸŒธ 2 Invergordon ๐ŸŒธ 647-702-8800 ๐ŸŒธ Please visit for a great erotic massage
  36. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
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  37. Lily Spa:
    โค๏ธ KAJAL, ELENA and SUSU are here today for your massage needs โค๏ธ Lily Spa โค๏ธ 2190 McNicoll โค๏ธ Scarborough โค๏ธ M1V 5M2 โค๏ธ (647) 531-8288 โค๏ธ
  38. SugarLoveSpa:
    hi today have Susan, Ella, Tifany, Lisa come baby all young beautiful girls
  39. Moneylee:
    All season wellness center : New Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Zoe ,young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Helen,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament summer ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella , Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry ,address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2โ˜Ž๏ธ4376655510 ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„
  40. Annie Spa:
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  41. Moneylee:
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  42. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    โœจClick on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! โœ… Click Here Today๐ŸŒธAkame๐ŸŒธChristina๐ŸŒธCamila๐ŸŒธLynda๐ŸŒธAntonela Call us โ˜Ž 905 - 265 - 2158โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate service awaits! โœจ
  43. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 masseuse are working today. Vicky,Mia,Ella and Lina are providing deep tissue massage, pls call 4163985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available. 350 Wilson Ave North York
  44. AliceSpa:
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  45. HollywoodSpa:
    Wednesday at ๐ŸŽญ๐—›๐—ข๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ๐—ฌ๐—ช๐—ข๐—ข๐—— ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”๐ŸŽญ, 4578 Yonge St, Unit 100, North York, ON: NICOLE & SISI. โ˜Ž๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ-๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฐโ˜Ž NICOLE is petite, slim and very pretty, with C Cups , long hair & a slim waist. She has nice massage and great services. SISI is a sweet slim beauty, 5โ€™2โ€, with a beauty ass, excellent massage, and amazing services. Come and see why she is so popular. When you visit ๐ŸŽญHollywood
  46. ForeverWarden:
    Wednesday at ๐Ÿซฆโค๏ธ๐Ÿ”ด๐ŸŸฅโ™พ๏ธ๐“•๐“ž๐“ก๐“”๐“ฅ๐“”๐“ก ๐“ข๐“Ÿ๐“โ™พ๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐Ÿ”ดโค๏ธ๐Ÿซฆ2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฌ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด๐Ÿณ: Bella, Cindy & Sasa. Bella is around 5โ€™3โ€ with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5โ€™4โ€, natural C Cups. Her massage is nice, her services will drive you wild & her finish is a dream
  47. HolidaySpa:
    Wednesday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธ: EMILY, KIKI & CINDY. EMILY is a VERY tiny petite SPINNER superstar of the highest quality. Emily has a pretty face, natural A Cups, slim waist, and a lovely spinner bottom, topped off with the very best of services. Kiki is very attractive, young, about 5โ€™4โ€ and 110 Lbs., slim with a banging body.
  48. SugarLoveSpa:
    Wednesday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œโŽ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”โŽ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: ELLA, LISA, SUSAN & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž ELLA is a lovely Thai sweetheart, 5โ€™1โ€ with C Cups, smooth skin and a very pleasing attitude. LISA is a cute & petite Thai/Chinese mixed beauty with decent massage skills and liberal services.
  49. luckywellness:
    Lucky Wellness Center 4379721888 295 Eglinton Ave E,Unit 7,Mississauga Niko and Kiki work
  50. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน2 girls ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ5124 Dundas St W Etobicokeโ˜Ž๏ธ416-817-3366๐Ÿ‘ New Japanese girl Nina โค๏ธ Natural Big Boobs 38 DD ๐Ÿ˜˜Pink Mini Nipples Hot body slide, super enjoyable๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ very provocative service๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜, professional super Luna deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธYou are welcome to make an appointment at any time or walk in the back
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