โTwas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Everybody felt s hitty โ even the mouse.
Mom at the Who rehouse and Dad smoking grass;
Iโd just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece to see what the matter
Then out on the lawn I saw a big di ck
I knew in a moment: it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment the fat fu cker fell.
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer
And a big rubber kok for my brother the qu eer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch blew the chimeny apart,
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight
โ*******s hope ya xmas is s hite