Nasty Jokes

[irishgreenc16]

A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket.
This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer?"
The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts looking good, I'm heading home!"

CK

 

[fish_in_dish_water]

A guy walks into a bar, orders a scotch and soda and puts a frog on the bar. The bartender gives him the drink and asks what the frog's for?
The guy snaps his fingers and the frog jumps down and blows the man. The bartender is amazed, and asks to see that again.
So the guy a second time snaps his fingers, the frog jumps down, blows the man, and hops back on the bar. The bartender is astounded, he offers the guy $3000 for the frog.
The man of course accepts, and gives the frog to the bartender.
The bartender, after his shift, goes home. he's sitting in his kitchen, calls his wife over, says he has something to show her.
His wife walks in, the bartender takes the frog out of his pocket, puts it on the table, snaps his fingers, the frog jumps down, blows the bartender and hops back on the kitchen table.
The wife asks, "why the hell are you showing me this?"
The bartender says, "cause you're going to teach him how to cook and then you're gonna get the f**k outta here."

CK

 

[Elsabe]

The Stupidity Test [mad] Good luck everyone !

1. The clitoris is a type of flower.
True or False

2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
True or False

3. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.
True or False

4. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
True or False

5. A G-string is part of a fiddle.
True or False

6. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
True or False

7. Testicles are found on an Octopus.
True or False

8. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
True or False

9. Coitus is a musical instrument.
True or False

10. A condom is a large apartment complex.
True or False

11. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
True or False

12. An erection is when Japanese people vote.
True or False

13. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
True or False

14. Pornography is the business of making records.
True or False

15. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
True or False

Tyra (Martinique Sunshine )

 

[Kyle :]]

One day the teacher wanted the class to use the word definately in a sentence. Suzy raised her hand so she called on her.
She said, "The sky is definately blue!"
"I'm sorry Suzy thats wrong the sky sometimes turns different colors red ,gray etc.. any body else?"
Timmy raised his hand and said, "The grass is definately green."
"I'm sorry Timmy that's not true either, sometimes the grass dies and it may turn brown, anybody else?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher do farts have lumps?"
The teacher says, "no why?"
Johnny says, "Then I definately Shit my pants!"

CK, now thats nasty..................right lois?

 

[gateman]

This one i am sure the ladies will enjoy:

There were three dumb blonde guys on an island who found an old pot and started rubbing at it, when suddenly out popped a genie. The genie told them that he only could grant 3 wishes so they would each get one.
The first guy asked the genie to make him smarter so he got turned into a red-head.
The second guy wanted to be even smarter than the first, so the genie turned him into a brunette.
Then the last guy wished to be even smarter than both his friends...
...so the genie turned him into a woman.

CK , i know im [kiss] ing [ass] , but lois has such a sweet [ass] .

 

[jeff1953]

The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room.
"I could let you sleep with my daughter," the farmer said, "if you promise not to bother her."
The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper, he was led to the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and felt the farmer's daughter at his side.
The next morning he asked for his bill.
"It'll be just two dollars, since you had to share the bed," the farmer said.
"Your daughter was very cold," the salesman said.
"Yes, I know," said the farmer. "We're going to bury her today."

CK

 

[queenbeeth22]

pornstar video

....

 

[How dry a yam]

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?

A. They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

 

[Pompal 09.]

http://www.toilette-humor.com/cartoon.html