Yummi Spa / Midtown

[AlloriaRonlob]

I second & fully agree with KINGOTIS on this venture-m23dude" Watch The Closing Doors "

 

[agnsrccx]

Im with ya Otis! Boycott this dump.

 

[SandraAmore]

Nice and colorful recounting of your less than stellar session. With the plethora of houses, this place will be easy to avoid.

 

[ueutqokx]

Here's a lengthy thread on that dank mess:

http://www.massageplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?197238-Tales-of-a-Tiny-K-Town-AMP

 

[Lisa S]

Please provide details of "dank mess of a place on 33rd Street". Tnx

 

[JJGress]

Dear Proprietor / Proprietress of Yummi Spa:

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of limited wealth and rather poor taste.

My name is Otis, but you may call me "King" if you are so inclined. I had occasion to visit your establishment recently and I would like to bring to your attention an infraction committed at your "spa" against a fundamental and basic aspect of the Marquis of Otisbury rules, which were established in 1765 to ensure that the massage and handjob game is played in manner that is safe, fair and, most importantly, pleasant for me and profitable for you. In particular, rule 14.42(c), also known as the "Sudden death" rule.

Allow me to recount the events of my recent visit to aid in your understanding. I arrived at your place in the early evening after being briefly questioned by the doorman as to my destination - a minor nuisance. I was greeted by "Tina" - a woman in, I will guess, her later thirties who knows how to use makeup to look hot and young. She was wearing a black slip with black leggings and a black bra and was very friendly. So far so good.

The location itself was adequate but, let's face it, more like an "indie" provider than a proper "spa". Two massage rooms with a tiny waiting area, no shower. The place was clean and quiet and Tina appeared to be working solo.

I paid 60 bucks for an hour and Tina gave an adequate rub. Nothing exceptional, but competent and professional.

Things were moving along as expected and the time came to flip. Tina massaged my legs and chest and, like a lot of Chinese women, told me how she wanted to lay her head on my big fat belly, which is always fine by me. Things progressed and she got my cock nice and hard and started jacking it good and slow. I felt her nice ass through the leggings and then her nice full breasts and hard nipples under that black slip.

She put a good effort into the hand action and I was about to deliver my payload of Otis-butter when suddenly she looked at the clock and stopped dead. She looked me in the eye and asked if I wanted another hour. "Another hour?" I asked, incredulously. "How about we just finish it up? I was almost done."

She declined and went to get paper towels. I politely but firmly requested that she please finish me off, but naturally by now the moment had passed and I was merely pissed off rather than turned on. She asked if I was "happy" and I said "of course I'm not happy." Sheesh.

Rule 14.42(c) of the Marquis of Otisbury rules (the aforementioned "Sudden death" rule) states as follows: "The massage provider and massagee shall provide a 5 minute grace period on either side of the precise conclusion of the agreed duration of the massage as a courtesy. The massagee will not complain of being 'shorted' 5 minutes for a 55 minute hour, and the massage provider shall not impose a 'dead stop' at the 60 minute mark if the happy ending has not been properly completed. Such a 'dead stop' gives rise to deliberate upsell and will not be tolerated. The provider will allow an additional 5 minutes and attempt to finish the job."

The sudden death rule is designed to prevent crybaby bullshit on the part of consumers and upsell nonsense on the part of providers. It is fundamental to good customer service that if a little extra effort will send your customer home happy, you can and will make that effort.

Let's be clear here. I'm not terribly difficult to please. I have left a trail of DNA samples across Manhattan that puts those "George Washington Slept Here" signs to shame. In fact, the Otis Nixon Historical Society is presently raising funds to erect a series of "King Otis Jizzed Here" plaques in honor of my work in progress.

In point of fact, it should be noted that after leaving your establishment in a hasty manner and a dissatisfied state, I walked three blocks north to a familiar dank mess of a place on 33rd Street, where a significantly less attractive provider finished me off in minutes...at a lower "all in" cost than the massage alone at your place.

Last but not least, you ought to know that I am no complainer, whiner, pissant, moaning pathetic punk-ass bitch. There was absolutely no other reason behind my dissatisfaction here - I didn't try to cajole, wheedle or otherwise manipulate Tina into any out of the ordinary services. I merely expected her to complete the basic, fundamental activities contemplated by your service.

Perhaps there was a language barrier here. Or perhaps Tina has not been adequately trained in the fundamentals of customer service. In either case, I respectfully request appropriate recompense in the form of one orgasm, delivered discreetly at an appropriate time and place, so that I may be adequately "made whole" for my end of this abruptly terminated misadventure.

I am hereby calling for a boycott of Yummi Spa by all members of the loosely organized society known as Team Otis. Unless and until I receive one appropriately packaged, undamaged orgasm, such boycott shall remain in place and effect.

I look forward to a satisfactory resolution of this situation.

Very truly yours,

Otis J. Nixon,
Chief Zealot and Promotional Figurehead
Team Otis

Yummi Spa: 646-287-6875